Sometimes you escape to a mountain getaway. You spend time breathing outside. Playing games with the kids. Sitting in awe of magnificent sunsets… and feeling like the world is as it should be.
Then you find yourself less than 48 hours pumping out a faster than your personal average 5k repeating “None-of-this-is-a-su-prise-to-you” to God with every step for the whole 23 minutes because any other thought might break you in half.
That’s been our week.
And if you’ve followed along for awhile… you aren’t surprised. We realized a long time ago that we aren’t necessarily meant to feel comfortable or easy in this life… that God’s plans are good, that he always knows better than we do, and that if we begin to feel “settled,” it’s usually a sign that something is about to be shaken up.
But… the thing is… I’m grateful for it.
If you’ve seen me in person since yesterday, you know our day was hard. And yet, it was an opportunity to look up and ask God what’s next. To open our lives to an unknown that is never comfortable and yet, isn’t terrifying because, through it all, we get to experience the peace that God promises time and time again in his Book, that sometimes – even in the most peaceful settings the world has to offer… we just don’t truly grasp until it comes from him.
In high school, as a child who struggled with anxiety, especially when life was changing, I clung to Philippians 4:4-9, which we memorized for a missions trip to the Dominican Republic.
It reads:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is near; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the PEACE of GOD which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.
Back up with me for a minute.
When our world shifted yesterday, as I started running at my fastest because I felt the need to be out of breath, it wasn’t an effort to run to God. It was anger. I was mad because people who had been close to us have – for a lack of other words – betrayed us in a way that we will likely not understand on this side of heaven. NOW: full disclosure – we are fine. Our family is fine. Our kids are fine. Everyone is healthy. No one is at risk. And yet. It hurts… and it has been hurting for over a year. Yesterday was the conclusion to that journey.
In one way, it’s a new beginning… my mantra holds: none of it is a surprise to God.
But when I hold on to the hurt, the anger, the frustration – I’m NOT acting in accordance with the verses that became my life verses so long ago.
Look at them again. We are to give it all to God with thanksgiving. In doing so, we’re promised his peace. Look further. We’re to cling to things that his son showed us… to nobleness, truth, purity, and more. When we do that, we’re not just promised peace… we’re promised the GOD of peace, walking beside us.
I’m not able to say the anger is gone. Not yet. But, when I allow it to take over, I take away the ability to lean in to God’s peace. When I look at him… it’s with clarity and hope that can only come from knowing and trusting in his plan (and we, as a family, have been able to do this!).
Friends, I don’t know what storms you’re feeling this day, this month, this year, or this decade… but if you feel like this all sounds crazy, or that this type of peace seems silly or just unknowable… I’d just like to encourage you to lean in. Whether you know God or not, ask him to give you a glimpse of him. Guys. When we ask, when we draw near to him… he draws near to us. He promises it. He promises peace. I promise, he delivers it when we look.
Can you lean in to him today? I’m working on it too; let’s do it together.
Take Two 
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